The fight against chronic illness is a multifaceted one. Whether it’s the physical discomfort, the uncertainty surrounding medical treatment, or the constant onslaught of society’s ignorant remarks, in a world where “you look too sick” and “you don’t look sick enough,” Marie Ciampa’s The Shit People Say! What Not to Say to People with Chronic Illness bursts onto the scene with unfiltered honesty. This book examines how Ciampa turns her battles with a systemic autoimmune disease, neurodivergence, and demeaning comments into a compelling, readable story that speaks to patients and allies alike through scathing humor and a bold call for awareness.
From the get-go, Ciampa hooks readers with a dedication to those whose “well-meaning but wildly inappropriate” words inspired this book. Her teenage years unravel with vivid clarity: joint stiffness and terrifying seizures led to a therapist’s claim she was “faking it” and a neurologist’s naive “just open your eyes” fix. These early dismissals fuel her defensiveness, a thread woven through her tale of fighting for a diagnosis. Years of testing, including blood work, MRIs, and EEGs, culminate in a systemic autoimmune disease that is “treated as lupus,” a label that, despite its flaws, finally makes the connection. Ciampa praises the rare doctor who admitted uncertainty, a refreshing honesty she wishes medicine would normalize.
The book’s core is a hilarious yet poignant exposé of “the shit people say.” Coworkers question her time off, relatives tout exercise as a cure, and strangers debate her health based on appearance. Like scoffing at “you’ll be okay” assurances from people who have no medical knowledge, Ciampa’s tone, which is equal parts dark comedy and frustration, turns pain into jokes. She digs deeper, exposing how these comments isolate, implying her illness is her fault or her life is lesser. Her social work lens shines, challenging the pity (“I’m so sorry”) that diminishes her joy and successes.
Neurodivergence adds richness to her story. Diagnosed later with ADHD, autism, depression, and anxiety, Ciampa unmasks the exhaustion of seeming “normal” while wrestling internal chaos. Remarks like “you don’t seem autistic” or “don’t focus on it” dismiss her reality, and she counters with grace, explaining how autism shapes her perspective and meds help, not erase, her. Her “resting bitch face” belies deep empathy, a neurodivergent quirk she wishes others would meet halfway.
Ciampa’s humor keeps the narrative flowing. She roasts offers of mints and socks during seizures, quips about consoling others mid-crisis, and winks at future partners undaunted by her “autoimmune chaos.” Yet, vulnerability balances the laughs—hard days, flare-ups, and the weight of explaining herself linger. She empowers the newly diagnosed: educate others or “smile and nod” to save strength. Instead of assuming, she urges readers to ask, “How can I support you?” Her call to action—respect, don’t fix—sounds clear.
The book’s strength is its readability. Ciampa’s conversational style, sharp wit, and structured journey—from misdiagnosis to resilience—make it accessible and engaging. Factual yet personal, it grounds her autoimmune and mental health struggles in real tests and triumphs, never sugarcoating the chaos. It serves as a lifeline for people who feel invisible and a warning to friends, family, and medical professionals to pause before speaking.
The Shit People Say! is a triumph—funny, fierce, and profoundly human. Ciampa proves she’s more than her conditions, weaving a narrative of strength, humor, and advocacy. For anyone with a chronic illness or those aiming to understand, this book is a gem, teaching us to listen, laugh, and let people write their own stories.
Head to Amazon to purchase your copy.